It Doesn’t Matter if It’s Grammatically Correct

One of the most valuable lessons I ever learned in life came from a diversity training session at Dev Bootcamp. I think the session might have focused on microaggressions and the importance of using someone's preferred pronouns, rather than just whatever you feel like calling them.

Most of what we were learning was brand new to me. When I was formally introduced to the "they" pronoun, I became preoccupied with the idea of using "they" to refer to a single person, rather than a group of people. It didn't seem grammatically correct!

I wasn't getting it. For a few months afterward, I reflected on the experience. While I don't remember when or where it happened, I vividly recall what it felt like when the realization hit me:

Whether it was grammatically correct or not was completely immaterial. The point was that another person, another human being, asked that you acknowledge and respect their identity and their wishes.

I wouldn't be the same person today if it weren't for this experience. Short in terms of the time it took me to describe it, but profound in the impact it's had on the way I think, my relationships, and in preparing me for what was to come in my personal life down the road.